Stress is like a bridge, according to Felicia Carroll, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Solvang. It’s built to provide support in certain conditions.

“When something overwhelms that bridge, like too much traffic or a hurricane or age … it creates stress, so you begin to see weakening or difficulties for what that bridge can sustain,” Carroll said. “It needs repairs.”

Too much stress can cause sleep problems, overeating or undereating, drug and alcohol problems, withdrawal from others, irritability or aggression.

What can you do?

Lifestyle

First, don’t overschedule yourself. People need downtime, which doesn’t mean sleeping or playing video games. On the other hand, you may want to schedule some time for yourself every week to do something fun or connect with other people.

Be aware that certain times of the year, like winter holidays, can cause stress. Practice simplicity during those times. You don’t need to go to five parties during the holidays.

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Life changes, even good ones like marriage, can also cause stress.

Evaluate situations where you’re chronically stressed, and see what you can do it make it less stressful. This may mean leaving a job, marriage or school, if it’s possible and worth it in the long run.

Organization

Look at the tasks that cause the most stress, and see if they can be delegated or shared with someone else.

Prioritize what’s important, and be okay with putting everything else on the back burner.

Take small steps to be more organized at work or home. Having a cluttered house can affect the way you feel about yourself.

To reduce financial stress, make a budget, stick to it, and live within your means.

Relationships

Have a social support network, including family, friends or religious communities you feel you can turn to.

Don’t hang out with toxic people who constantly stress you out.

Communicate your needs in an assertive way. Don’t supress your feelings.

Mind, body and spirit

Take care of your body by eating healthy, exercising and getting enough sleep so you’re able to withstand stress more easily.

Yoga and tai chi can relax your body and encourage your mind to focus on the present.

Meditation, massage, muscle relaxation and guided imagery are also good practices.

A good cry can cause relief by releasing hormones related to being stressed.

Spend some time outside in a beautiful setting, or surround yourself with plants and flowers if you can’t get outside.

Breathe deeply. Shallow breathing increases feelings of panic and stress. Instead, breathe from the stomach or

diaphragm.

Learn to recognize negative self-talk or irrational thoughts, and focus on being optimistic and self-nurturing.

Have a sense of humor.

Turn to your faith in a higher power or purpose beyond yourself.

Remember that you’re in control of how you react to events, even if you can’t control the events themselves.

— SOURCES: Dawn Zierman-Hernandez, licensed marriage and family therapist in Lompoc and Santa Maria; Felicia

Carroll, licensed marriage and family therapist in Solvang, and April Thyrring, co-owner of Yoga Village in Arroyo Grande with Connie Murphy.

A FEW ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

Establishing boundaries and learning to say no:

www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress-relief/SR00039

Being assertive and communicating your needs:

www.mayoclinic.com/health/assertive/SR00042

http://stress.about.com/od

/relationships/ht/howtoassert .htm

Assessing relationships: are they toxic?

http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ss/letting_go.htm

Relaxation techniques, including guided

imagery and visualization

www.mayoclinic.com/health/relaxation-technique/ SR00007

www.holisticonline.com/Stress /stress_visualization.htm

Communication in relationships/marriage:

"Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship" by Jeffrey Bernstein, Da Capo Press, 2003.

"Too Nice for Your Own Good : How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes" by Duke Robinson, Grand Central Publishing, 2000.

— SOURCE: Dawn Zierman-Hernandez,

licensed marriage and family therapist in

Lompoc and Santa Maria